So it’s true. I’m in love with romance. Everything about it. That’s why I write kissing books, for crying out loud. And yet …
My husband and I went through a really bad time in our marriage. We almost called it quits. Yeah, the “D” word. It was as if we were drowning. I could hardly believe it. This couldn’t be happening to me!
I was so lost. So was he. We tried counseling. Couples therapy. Individual sessions. The whole nine. Nothing. We fought all the time. I’m talking shouting-match angry with each other. This was not the happily ever I’d imagined for myself. He got a lawyer. It was horrible. I was drowning…
Then my Mom—yes, my mother—told me about Dr. Baucom and his system. OMG! It changed everything. If you’re looking for a way to save your marriage, I highly recommend you check out his totally accessible system here.
Anyway, there was a happily after for me, after all. I’m happily married going on 18 years. And I learned a few things for having gone through those bad few years, namely that I bought into some really destructive myths about saving my marriage.
So I want to share them with you in hopes that they might help if you’re going through a marital crisis like I did. And just know that, yes, you can save your marriage.
Myth 1 | You need to learn MORE communication skills
Learning new communication skills will not help you. I know this firsthand. I’m a writer; communicate is what I do. But here’s the reality: Teaching you how to communicate better, if your marriage is truly troubled, will only give you and your spouse the ability to fight more effectively.
Ha! Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Remember when I mentioned earlier all the shouting we were doing. Yeah, we were communicating alright.
What I learned is that in too many cases, improving communication skills only creates more damage and accelerates the deterioration of the relationship.
Sorry but it’s true. The sooner you realize this, the better.
Myth 2 | There’s only one path from the brink of divorce to marital bliss
Actually, that’s just wrong. Don’t buy into this myth. I certainly thought there was only one “path” back to marital happiness for me and my husband.
Then Dr. Baucom’s system set me straight. The guy actually discovered there are up to 8 distinct paths! And it turns out that each “path” has to dealt with a bit differently. What’s helpful at one stage can be destructive, or at least counterproductive, at another.
It sounds complicated but it’s not. He’s created a unique path for each stage that resolves the crisis best. These paths have been tested and retested and proven successful for hundreds in his practice. They worked for us.
Myth 3 | You can’t start saving your marriage if your spouse isn’t interested
This one was crushing me. I thought I was the only one invested in saving our marriage. I thought it was all one-sided, so I started to lose hope.
It turns out that when a marriage goes into full crisis mode, it sometimes takes awhile for the other spouse to respond. The spouse will actually turn inward. That doesn’t mean, however, that you can’t save your marriage. This more than anything, helped me hang in there.
Yes, it’s going to require time. I had to learn a little “relationship judo” as part of Dr. Baucom’s method but thank god I did.
Myth 4 | Time heals all
This may be the most damaging myth of all. No. Hell no. Things left to their own devices won’t just fix themselves. Don’t buy into that—not for a minute. You may as well believe in the tooth fairy and Loch Ness monster while you’re at it.
Now that we’ve cleared the air on this destructive myth, we can move on. Move on to taking action and starting the work of saving your marriage today.
Don’t get me wrong. It will take time. No marriage comes undone overnight and not repair job is going to work instantly, either. But time in and of itself as the remedy for a marital crisis is, well, crazy. Sorry. Better you hear it from me.
The truth is you must take action. If you don’t, you guys are going to drift further apart and Dr. Baucom says “before you know it, the relationship is too far gone.”
You Can Save Your Marriage | I’m Proof
So that’s it. The four super destructive myths that will get in the way of saving your marriage. I hope you take them to heart. Once I freed myself of these myths, things really started to get better.
I’m no expert. I write romance novels. But I’m a student of life and went through a marital crisis that very nearly ended in divorce. So I know what it’s like and I know that a marriage can be saved.
And if you need an expert, do look into Dr. Baucom’s system. It’s so straightforward and insightful. It helped us tremendously and it’s remarkably affordable.
>>>> Can’t say enough good things about it. <<<<
Good luck and here’s to you finding your happily ever after. <3
